Dee was difficult this morning...as usual.
Then when I picked her up, she ran to me and hugged me. I asked what was wrong, and she said, "MAPP testing is coming up." Then she said, "I took an aspirin today because my head hurt." I asked if the nurse gave it to her and she said yes. I said, "I need to call. She doesn't have permission to give you aspirin without talking to me." Then she said she had taken it from the first aid kit. What is wrong with this girl?!
In the meantime, I'm doing a book study and support group on The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis. I'm feeling too jaded to appreciate what it says.
[Sigh]
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Family Meeting
Dee called a family meeting today. Even when we were done, I couldn't figure out the purpose. She had notes.
1. She wants her hair braided. (I said no. She always takes it down.)
2. She doesn't feel happy. We are not happy anymore. Where is the laughter? (I don't know what she is talking about, so I just listened.)
3. Can she have her iPod back? (Yes, but only one hour a day.)
4. We don't do anything fun anymore? (I ran through of list of things we did recently, and we concluded we do fun things, so it must be in her.)
I don't think her meeting went the way she intended. I think she just wanted her braids and her iPod. But she couldn't handle the responses she got back.
Even after a tough meeting, I left her home while I went to a meeting. When I checked on her, she was doing fine and encouraged me to do our grocery shopping. I came home and was talking to a neighbor who innocently mentioned Dee and the ice cream truck. I knew then that Dee broke the very first rule of staying home alone. She went outside.
I told her she lost that right. When she was sad and disappointed in herself. I reminded her that she knew she was breaking the rules when she went out. She had to know if she got caught there would be consequences. So from now on, she will have to go and spend two hours with the volunteer child care.
1. She wants her hair braided. (I said no. She always takes it down.)
2. She doesn't feel happy. We are not happy anymore. Where is the laughter? (I don't know what she is talking about, so I just listened.)
3. Can she have her iPod back? (Yes, but only one hour a day.)
4. We don't do anything fun anymore? (I ran through of list of things we did recently, and we concluded we do fun things, so it must be in her.)
I don't think her meeting went the way she intended. I think she just wanted her braids and her iPod. But she couldn't handle the responses she got back.
Even after a tough meeting, I left her home while I went to a meeting. When I checked on her, she was doing fine and encouraged me to do our grocery shopping. I came home and was talking to a neighbor who innocently mentioned Dee and the ice cream truck. I knew then that Dee broke the very first rule of staying home alone. She went outside.
I told her she lost that right. When she was sad and disappointed in herself. I reminded her that she knew she was breaking the rules when she went out. She had to know if she got caught there would be consequences. So from now on, she will have to go and spend two hours with the volunteer child care.
Joyful Reunion
A few years after I graduated from college, I lived in Arizona. I worked for the IRS. I taught high schoolers at my church in Sunday School. One of my kids for reasons I can't remember needed to live with me. She and eventually an aunt lived with me for many months.
I did some mission work in Brazil, and we ended up losing touch. Jessica found me this past weekend on-line. She had been looking for a long time, as had I. She was on Facebook but under the name of a famous person in history.
She told me she wrote everything she could think of about me down. She prayed over the list. Typed it in Google, and then she found me. When I saw her friend request, I was stunned. I had been looking for her too. I had contacted our old church. I just didn't know where to look.
When we talked, she said something that really touched me. She said I made her feel so special. And she wondered if in all these years how many other kids I had made feel special. She wondered if she wasn't as special as she thought, and that was just the way she felt as a teen. I told her I loved all the kids in my class at that time, but she should know, she was special. She was like a child to me. And I heard this now 43-year old woman, cry with joy. She said she felt like a kid again.
The next day, she called to just hear my voice once more.
As I was driving after our phone reunion, I knew for sure if I were to die right then, my life was not in vain. What a blessing!
I did some mission work in Brazil, and we ended up losing touch. Jessica found me this past weekend on-line. She had been looking for a long time, as had I. She was on Facebook but under the name of a famous person in history.
She told me she wrote everything she could think of about me down. She prayed over the list. Typed it in Google, and then she found me. When I saw her friend request, I was stunned. I had been looking for her too. I had contacted our old church. I just didn't know where to look.
When we talked, she said something that really touched me. She said I made her feel so special. And she wondered if in all these years how many other kids I had made feel special. She wondered if she wasn't as special as she thought, and that was just the way she felt as a teen. I told her I loved all the kids in my class at that time, but she should know, she was special. She was like a child to me. And I heard this now 43-year old woman, cry with joy. She said she felt like a kid again.
The next day, she called to just hear my voice once more.
As I was driving after our phone reunion, I knew for sure if I were to die right then, my life was not in vain. What a blessing!
Monday, March 19, 2012
I've caught RAD
It's gone. The little patience I use to have. It's gone. No more. Zero. Zilch. Nada.
Dee is just going nuts. I think I'll call her psychiatrist because I cannot take it any longer. She is lying for no reason. She is unfocused. She is disrespectful. She is sneaking.
Every time I drop her off or pick her up, the care person pulls me to the side to tell me something! The last three days at before school care, I've had to have my own temper tantrum because of her disrespect. Those people think I'm crazy!
At gymnastics, she told the teacher she had a broken arm. Of course, the teacher knew that would be impossible since she was there last week too!
It's just constant. In between, she cannot say anything respectfully.
She has also forgotten how to communicate. She can only hear one word in a sentence, and then she focuses on it and argues it.
I should be parenting to her current age - 3. But I can't. I really don't like her right now. And every time I try, she is just hateful.
As I always say..."RAD is contagious. If your child has it, you will catch it." I have a full blown case right now.
Dee is just going nuts. I think I'll call her psychiatrist because I cannot take it any longer. She is lying for no reason. She is unfocused. She is disrespectful. She is sneaking.
Every time I drop her off or pick her up, the care person pulls me to the side to tell me something! The last three days at before school care, I've had to have my own temper tantrum because of her disrespect. Those people think I'm crazy!
At gymnastics, she told the teacher she had a broken arm. Of course, the teacher knew that would be impossible since she was there last week too!
It's just constant. In between, she cannot say anything respectfully.
She has also forgotten how to communicate. She can only hear one word in a sentence, and then she focuses on it and argues it.
I should be parenting to her current age - 3. But I can't. I really don't like her right now. And every time I try, she is just hateful.
As I always say..."RAD is contagious. If your child has it, you will catch it." I have a full blown case right now.
Friday, March 16, 2012
A Long Week...
Dee has not made good decisions all week. She has been sneaky and that always leads to lying.
Because of the drama of yesterday, and the fact Dee disagreed with the story I got from the director. I wrote him a note saying there was a disagreement, and we needed to find the truth. I mentioned to him in the letter that Dee said he had not listened to her and another girl. Then I made Dee confront him this morning. She was downright rude and caught in her lie. I told her to give me her extra stuff (money for some raffles, and some scrapbook pages she made). She refused with quite the attitude. She was rude to both of us.
I brought her home. She screamed all the way home. She slammed the door and when I asked her to go out and come in, she came in screaming, WHAT?!?
Suffice it to say it was a bad day. We ended up taking her back to school, and me off to work.
I decided I had had enough of Miss Dee's disrespect. So here are our new family rules:
Every single thing you say should start with one or more of these phrases. EVERY SINGLE THING!
- Excuse me Mom
- Please
- Thank you
- May I please
- Would you please
- You’re welcome
- Yes ma’am
- I’m sorry
Words neither you nor I will EVER use
- "What" with an attitude of any kind. You may NOT answer me “What?” ever again!
- Huh?
- Nasty – As in you have a nasty attitude. I will use a different word. (This is mostly me.)
- Mean grunting
- I was just…(I was just going to do this and then I 'll do what you asked.)
- Coming! (Unless you first say “Yes, Ma’am, I’m…)
- Sorry. (Must include the word I'm. Sorry alone always sounds insincere)
- I was! (Dee do this now. I was! when she usually wasn't)
- I want…
- I don’t want…
So far so good. But this kid has frustrated me to no end this week.
Thursday, March 15, 2012
"The Talk" at School
Today was the puberty talk at school. Dee has been counting down for weeks. She couldn't wait. She came out of it understanding more the science. But she asked this quesstion: "Who does more to make a baby, the boy or girl?" I said, "The Daddy's sperm decides if it is going to be a baby girl or baby boy." She said, "I thought the doctor decided." I didn't laugh.
Because of the looming talk...Dee and her friends were talking about their chest. I'll spend the next two days trying to decide what really happened. This is the e-mail I got from her during the workday, but it didn't match what the director told me.
mom befor you read you mite be really consord about me so email me back as soon as youl get the email to make me feel like my body is ok and protedted.
mom i just got done with my flonicy and last time i had a 91% know i have a 95%.
i am so happy about that and i scioed over the ones i didnt now about i think thats why i i did not run out of time.
its ok email me back.
and mom srena tryed to pull down my shirt and i told her to stop becuase i did not feel comfirt abule so now the teacher are talking to her \about it.and this happend in adviture club and i now you want me to tell vyou things based on what happend i dont feel comfortablu aroud her with out you, and i did not tell her to do it she just did it on her own and i dont want to be her friend cause of what she did to my body.please talk to her mom for me.email me back.
Because of the looming talk...Dee and her friends were talking about their chest. I'll spend the next two days trying to decide what really happened. This is the e-mail I got from her during the workday, but it didn't match what the director told me.
mom befor you read you mite be really consord about me so email me back as soon as youl get the email to make me feel like my body is ok and protedted.
mom i just got done with my flonicy and last time i had a 91% know i have a 95%.
i am so happy about that and i scioed over the ones i didnt now about i think thats why i i did not run out of time.
its ok email me back.
and mom srena tryed to pull down my shirt and i told her to stop becuase i did not feel comfirt abule so now the teacher are talking to her \about it.and this happend in adviture club and i now you want me to tell vyou things based on what happend i dont feel comfortablu aroud her with out you, and i did not tell her to do it she just did it on her own and i dont want to be her friend cause of what she did to my body.please talk to her mom for me.email me back.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Anniversaries and a Birthday
March is a big month for us! My little doggie Chloe celebrates her adoption/birthday. And Dee and I celebrate her homecoming day. Well...actually we do celebrate with Chloe, but Dee and I don't even mention the day.
I felt bad on Chloe's birthday. We had two foster dogs, and I was tired of four dogs. We went to get one dog adopted. Then Dee and I went to the movie. I felt little Chloe was cheated.
The next day we finally celebrated Chloe's day!
I sat watching the three dogs enjoy the chicken once it was "cut" (when I took the skin off and bones out), and I thought ,"What a fun party!" They were really enjoying themselves.
The next day was the anniversary of Dee moving in two years ago. It went by silently. Dee had been defiant, disobedient and disrepectful the day before, so I did not give her a chance to continue. Somehow I think she knows it is an anniversary, but it's subconscious.
So I survived my "first" child turning 9. And my human child has made it at home -- two years!
Whoo hooo!
I felt bad on Chloe's birthday. We had two foster dogs, and I was tired of four dogs. We went to get one dog adopted. Then Dee and I went to the movie. I felt little Chloe was cheated.
The next day we finally celebrated Chloe's day!
The next day was the anniversary of Dee moving in two years ago. It went by silently. Dee had been defiant, disobedient and disrepectful the day before, so I did not give her a chance to continue. Somehow I think she knows it is an anniversary, but it's subconscious.
So I survived my "first" child turning 9. And my human child has made it at home -- two years!
Whoo hooo!
No Energy
I am always sleepy. I drive to work sleepy. I drive home sleepy. I'm sleepy in between. I'm just dragging. I write in a post every so often all of the topics I want to blog about, but I'm not actually writing about them! I hope it has something to do with the change in seasons. My boss often says, "I feel like Gale." Meaning...she is tired. The other day, I heard Dee say something very similar.
On top of this, I started a diet. It's good for me to know that my diet is not why I'm tired. I was tired before. :)
But until I fall asleep, I think I'll hit some of my topics.
On top of this, I started a diet. It's good for me to know that my diet is not why I'm tired. I was tired before. :)
But until I fall asleep, I think I'll hit some of my topics.
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