Downward Spiral

Each year our school district has a Father/Daughter dance and Mother/Son field day.  Last year, Dee was new and we were unprepared.  This year, she called my friend's husband and asked him to be her date.

He arrived with a corsage, and treated her like a queen.  We all waited to eat until after their time at the dance.  We sent two extroverts, so it was very late when they finally returned.

We had a great time after at dinner.  Dee was on cloud 9!  I warned her not to mess up the day with a bad one.

So...of course, the next morning while I was in the bathroom, Dee woke up, stole my car keys, and went to the car.  She was sitting in the car, with it running.  The parking lights were on, the trip odometer had been reset, the gas door was open, the trunk was popped, and she looked glassy-eyed.  Fortunately, we park outside.  Her response to my screaming and flailing my arms wildly while asking what she was doing, was "I had to turn on the heat."  Later, she said, "I was looking for things." 

Before she went to bed, I told her that if she continued to do dangerous things she'd kill herself.  She said, "Mom...that's the point." 

Perhaps I am mean.  I just said, "If you are looking for someone to say, "Oh poor Dee..."  Look elsewhere.  That's between you and God.  Only He gives life and only he can take it away.  You answer to him."

Her therapist assured her she didn't want to miss things in her future.  Her psychiatrist told her she'd hurt a lot of people.

I wish I could say that was the end of the downward spiral, but it's not.

She also didn't go to a classroom she was suppose to go to at school.  Went to the music teacher instead.  She wasn't there, so Dee stole items from her desk instead.  So she just finished two days of suspension.

The therapist said Dee is very uncomfortable with good.  But she needed to keep getting it in small doses to get use to it.

Today was a good day...pray for me tomorrow!