Dumb Decision

We are not allowed to use the word "dumb" in our house, so I tried to think of something else to call this post, but really...nothing else describes it as well.

Yesterday, when I turned on the stove, I realized the coils of the burner I was going to use was crooked.  I tried to right it before the burner warmed up.  For the record:  Burners warm up IMMEDIATELY!  I called Dee, and asked her to bring the first aid kit.  While I worked on my burnt fingers that came flesh to coil with the burner, Dee had to finish cooking dinner.

I was in serious pain.  During that time, Dee said, "I told you I was the brains of this house."  Not appreciated at the time, but she did have a good point.  Then as we sat to eat, I just cried in pain.  Dee took the phone called my mom.  "Grandma, your daughter burnt her hand on the stove and she is crying."  My mom told her to have me run cold water on it, and if it continues she may need to go to the doctor."  Dee sat down to dinner, and I cried out in pain.  She grabbed the phone.  I asked her who she was calling, "9-1-1."  I grabbed the phone.  She said I needed an ambulance and began to plan her life with me away:
I won't go  to school tomorrow.  I'll call grandma and she can tell me how to cook everyday.  I will have a major party.

Meanwhile, I was still crying in pain.  I tried burn ointment, water, ice, frozen everything in the freezer.  Finally, I read about flour.  I grabbed a bag out of the freezer and stuck my hand in it.  I took an acetamenophin with Codeine from three years ago, and between those two...it became bearable.

Dee was proud of herself.  So was I.  But I was also struck with how attachment or lack thereof reared its ugly head.  She showed a little concern for me, but she detached, and plan her life without me...rather quickly.

We talked about it today.  She assured me that she loves me and she would miss me.  I told her in the book I'm reading there was a line,  "Until you love me, you can never trust."  And I told her that is where I think we are.  She said, "I do love you."   I asked her if she felt I loved her.  She said even when I'm angry, she knows I love her.  So...we have made some progress.  There's still so much more to do.