Sibling Visit

We woke up Tuesday with our normal rushing around.  Dee was forced to find her dance stuff.  We got our work and school bags packed, and we rushed out.  I stopped at the ATM, then we went on to school.  When we hit the school's street, I said, "Wow!  I have a taste for S Food."  (It's a particular fast food restaurant from Dee's hometown.)  Then I told her I thought I would go get some.  She asked, "Without me?"  I told her never!  She asked, "When, tomorrow?"  I told her, "No...let's go today."  We pulled into the school's lot.  We reorganized ourselves.  I called my boss, and told her I sent the school an e-mail telling them she may be absent, but I wasn't sure.  We drove through McDonalds, and I gave her her DVD player and we got a Red Box movie, iPod and drawing paper and crayons.

The drive is about 3 hours.  At about an hour in, we left our area, so I told her that there was another reason I wanted to make the trip.  We were going to see her litte brother.  I got choked up telling her.  She didn't notice.  She had her own emotions.  She was happy, but equally nervous.

When we stopped at a rest stop, I asked if she wanted to continue and she said yes.  When we were an hour out, I called her brother's foster mom.   A little later, we  had a call from the social worker chaning our locations.  When we arrived at Chuck E Cheese, the social worker was there.  We were thrilled to see him.  He really cares about this family.

We waited for the brother and his foster mom to come.  She thought I was going to call again.  When they did arrive, that little boy came in so joyful!  Full of RAD!  He was charming.  He hugged me like his long-lost mother.  Later when I asked him if he knew who I was, he not only didn't know who I was, he didn't know Dee had been adopted.  I really enjoyed watching them play together.  Little brother J was too excited to eat.  Dee kept calling him by a neighbor's name. 

Two social workers, me and foster mom were the adults there.  We all had so much fun watching them play.  Dee said it was the best day ever.  We drove around her hometown.

After the visit, Dee had some poor behavior and lots of disrespectfulness.  I expected it, but I didn't like it.  I asked her today if she thought she was good seeing her brothers until she is grown, and she said yes.  Her brother two years her senior is not doing well enough to have a sibling visit.  She never asked about him.  He wrote her a note last fall, and since that time, she hasn't mentioned his name.  I wonder if that wil happen with this brother two years her junior.  Maybe she will be able to move on.

I wish she coud keep touch with her siblings.  They are all victims, but she is my major concern.  If she doesn't want to, we won't.  As I told her, "It your birth family.  If you don't want to spend time, write or talk to them that's up to you."  But I'm glad we had Tuesday.  It was one of my top days too!