Spoke too Soon

This morning the "good" Dee woke up.  She was still riding high from the weekend.  So, it was a good morning.  I did remember that she hadn't been giving me her phone at night...which is our rule.  She can't call or text at night, but it means I wasn't reviewing her texts.  So I asked her to be sure to bring it down to me.  Still...very pleasant.

The dogs and I walked her to the bus stop.  And while there, I started perusing some texts.  The first thread I saw was from "Joey."  And the last text I saw was  from Dee -- "Good night.  I love you."  So I said, "Not acceptable," and put her on the bus.

Dee is dead set on having a "boyfriend."  I wish I could say it would be innocent, but I don't  it think it would be.  In her thread to "Joey" she said, "Should I wear a skirt or pants on Monday?"  He said, "A skirt."  She said, "Why did you say that.  I think I know and it's not good."  He ignored her and that chatted about other things.  And she came back to her question with the same provoking line.  He never answered, but she wore the shortest skirt she had with leggings.

When I picked her up, I had devised my plan of how to talk to her.  First, I wanted to be sure "Joey" was a boy and at her school and not some pedophile she picked up on the Internet.  So I started asking about her teeney bopper game.  She said, "Just take it away."  Then I asked"Joey's" last name.  She didn't know what her love's last name is.  I explained how boys get the wrong idea about girls who say "I love you" to everyone.  And how they share that idea with other boys.  Then I told her how suggestive her skirt conversation was.  I had to tell her it makes people think of porn...because that's a word she knows, and I'm not ready to introduce "sexting."  She might take it as a suggestion.  I did tell her that if the boy's parents see her texts, I expect her to get called the Principal's office, and me to get called at work.

She didn't handle that conversation well.  She told me I was yelling.  I wasn't.  But she didn't like what I was saying, so she thought I was.

I spent the evening taking away privileges.  When she she gets her phone back, his number is blocked.  Her right to text pictures is gone.  Her text limit is 250 texts a month.  This month she did 1300.  I don't know how considering she can use the phone from 6:00 - 8:45 on weekdays, and then most of the day Saturdays and Sundays.  I also took away the games she likes on the computer because they put too many teen ideas in her head.  I will also block Disney XD and Teen Nick on the TV...though the latter is usually blocked by ratings.

She is not suppose to ever delete texts, but apparently she does.  I haven't seen 1300 texts.  But she was lulled into a false sense of comfort  because I stopped asking for her phone.  The element of surprise...a mom's best weapon.

I do remember a couple of things her therapist said that scared me when she said it, and scares me even more now:  1) She will do some very bad and dangerous things before she gets it all together.  2) Not doing birth control is not an option.  I have worked hard to make those things not true, but Dee seems to be working harder to prove to me that the therapist knows what she is talking about.  And no, Dee didn't hear the therapist say it.