Getting Better...

I managed to get some tolerance for Dee today.  She did get herself up and ready on time.  After school, we talked more on our drive.  Then we went to therapy.  I spoke with the therapist and we talked about how things are effecting Dee.  She tried to help me see what I need to do that I am not doing.  We did talk about my priorities.  I simply am not willing to negotiate respect.  When I have to "choose my battles," I choose the one about being respectful.

I am not helping Dee though.  She is beginning to have some image issues.  She says she sees her birth mom when she looks in the mirror or at pictures of herself.  She is beginning to hate herself.  I took her to the mirror to show her how we look alike, but it did not work for her.  She'd see it more if our skin tones were closer, but she hears people often say we look alike.

Today her homework is to look in the mirror and say, "You are beautiful."  "You are amazing" etc.  It really upset her.  She does not want to do that.  She said she can't hug herself.  I showed her me hugging myself, and she broke down crying when I did.  I've got to stop this self-hatred she is starting.

I wanted to send her to church camp this summer, but I think she is not ready.  I will have my niece who is 20 years old, come to care for her while I'm at a conference later in the summer.  They will both be dressing inappropriately, but at least Dee will have a good time.