Saturday, August 20, 2011

Remaking our Relationship

It occurs to me that this effort to make Dee feel like she is part of my family and that she has a new mom is wasted effort.  Dee doesn't want a new mom.  She doesn't want to be a part of the family.  What Dee needs is a chance to be the best her she can be however that may be.  But it's not just about Dee, I have some say about my needs too.  I need to live my life, and it should not always be strife and chaos.

I've spent the past few years either preparing for the child I was going to adopt, or changing my life for the child I am adopting.  I didn't expect anything in return, but I did get some things.  I got disobedience, disrespect and snottiness.  Really...I'd rather had nothing.

Yesterday Miss Dee decided to sneak something to school.  Sure, it was day four.    I know we hadn't talk about it since day one.  She has a see-through book bag, and a see-through lunch bag.  I caught the lip gloss.  But she had hidden in her emergency kit for her period all of the used gift cards and loyalty cards she collected, and an electronic toy.  I threw away the entire kit.

Unfortunately, I had just asked her friend's mother if she could go to the movies with us.  So even after I found the stuff, I took her to the movie. 

When we got home, I asked about the flashlight I use when I walk the dogs.  She had snuck (past tense of sneak) it to her room and hidden it.  That was it!  I am tired of living in a house full of lies and sneakiness.  While I yelled about the sneakiness, she answered with the fact that I knew she was a sneak when I adopted her.

Well....I'm done.  I have decided to raise her the best way I can, but not as my daughter.  Just as a child in my house.  I've asked her to call me Gale.  If being my child and calling me Mom is so much stress that she is a thief, then forget it.  Be honest, be kind...call me legal guardian.

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