A Little Better

Today, I went back to work.  I'm so grateful.  I really needed some separation from Dee.  The support of my coworkers and the space allowed me that.  People fed me back my on parenting theories when I couldn't see it myself.

I could think a lot clearer without the constant negative talk, sabatoge and attitude feeding into my thought processes.

When I picked Dee up from daycare, I didn't say anything.  I wanted her to earn the rights that she had lost.  We sat down to dinner and I asked her to tell me what went wrong during the weekend.  She did great.  She talked about her attitude, her sabatoge, trying to get control, etc.  She didn't mention the porn.  She also mentioned that when she was egging me on and I let her that didn't help.  She said she replayed the things in her head, and she saw clearly the things that were wrong.

Then we talked more about it.  She continued with the attitude, so I would say, "Stop.  We apparently can't talk to each other."  Eventually, we made it through the conversation.

I would not give her the right to call me "Mom" again until she wrote what she appreciated about me.  It took three rounds.  First Round she wrote why I should let her call me Mom:

Dear Miss Gale,
Here is some things I think should call you mom.  First I think you have have kid that you adopted  and that kid should be able to call you "mom."  You are very strict about things that are mean to others, things that get out of control.  You adopted me so that you will have kid that will treat you with respectuflness and that has a kind tone in her voice and not a nasty tone in her voice.  You also expect others to threat you the way you want to be treated, and you expect your kid to be happy and joyful, thoughtful, for all of the hard work you have put into something like oh I don't know maybe a present opening morning time with all kinds of stuff.  I think you should let me call you mom because did adopt me to not let me call you mom.

Round Two

To Gale
From Dee
I appreciate about you that you are a hard worker, and you think about yourself first then you think about others.  And I appreciate too about you is that you can make something that is small into something huge like for x-mas time.  And you protect me when I am sad, scard, etc.  And I'm scared of the dark , when I ask you if you could sleep with me and you do.  You always, and I mean always, make me feel better with the dark.

(OK...I cracked up on this one.  She said I think of others first, like when I told her to stop helping others at school until she gets her work done.  I told her I had to do my work at work, and then I can help others.  She said, I made her birthdays and Christmases big deals when they were small.)  It was nice when you know what she meant, but I sent her back for Round Three!

1. You are thoughtful.
2.  You are a great patient to me.
3.  You take care of me.
4.  You always make sure I'm happy (only on a good day).
5.  You help me with my work so I can grow up smart.
6.  You make sure I look good on school days. :)
7.  You're funny all of the time. :)

I took Round 3 because I was tired, but it is more of what I wanted from her.