Consequences

Dee has been unable to relax because she knew we still had to talk to our therapist about the whole stealing/lying/porn episode.  She doesn't like "difficult sessions." 

Miss Michelle, our therapist, says that if we don't nip this in the bud it can easily become an obsession.  I think we were well on the way to seeing that.

We also talked about her habit of lying.  Miss Michelle said that it's not uncommon in RAD kids that they have HABIT of lying.  She agrees that Dee lies so much, she no longer knows what is truth and what is not truth.

Dee came out from the session and said, "Can we now never speak of this again?"  I could not agree to that.  Plus, Little Girl does not get to be in control after throwing our lives totally out of control!  Nice try.

We do consequences now only one day at a time.  So, she may lose the right to watch TV or lose electronics for a day, or if it's really bad, she will all privileges for a day.  This week, she had several days of loss of privileges, and one day where she loss the right to her DVD for multiple days.

I told her yesterday, "I wish I could just ask you what happened, and believe you.  But since you are at zero trust, I can't believe you."  She said something like "I don't blame you" or "I think that's smart of you."

I have found that Dee has more respect when I have found her in her lies or misbehavior and are consequencing her than if she feels she is getting away with something.  I explained to her that just because I don't consequence doesn't mean I don't know.  I am just letting her have another chance.  I have to learn that it's a test on her part, and if I don't consequence, then to her, I have failed.  Now that I know the rules, I think I can be more successful!