An Interesting Car Ride

Today was my long commute day.  I drive 34 miles to work, then 34 miles back to get Dee for therapy, then 30 miles to therapy and then 30 miles home.  On the way home from therapy, we always talk a little about therapy.  Miss Michelle said that they talked about the heart puzzle again.  I told Dee that I didn't remember the heart puzzle, and asked what it was about.

She said it was a heart, but a piece is missing.  It's the piece she has to figure out between her birth mom and me.  She understood that it was something she needed to do.  She said she had not forgotten how it worked.  But a little later in the drive, she started with hard questions.

• Why did Birth Mom get to keep the two youngest kids?
• Why did Birth Mom replace her with another girl?
• Why did Birth Mom get her life together for them and not the first three?

She admitted that she hoped to find Birth Mom as mess up as before because it would hurt her to know she managed to get it together for the younger ones.  I asked her if she really wanted the two young ones to go through what she had gone through?  She said she didn't want that new girl not to know what a mess her mom was.  It would make her mad to hear her say that she had a great mom when she wasn't so great for her.

I commended her for saying "if" she chooses to find her birth mom when she is 18 or older.  I told her she can make that decision later.  I assured her tonight that she could love both of us.  She said something in her nightly prayer that made me feel she felt she had to choose.  She answered me with "I didn't know that."

She is really trying to figure it out.  It will be so cool if she could just get on with her life.  I was proud of her today!