A 5 Year Old Planning to Avoid Foster Care

On last Tuesday, Dee told me the story of an evening visit with her  birth mother when she was still in foster care, and how she hung onto her leg and would not leave.  Once they peeled her away, ang got her in the car, and she waited until she heard the click of the driver's belt, and bolted from the car.  She said she was able to do it because when she heard talk that they may be put into foster care, she "made a plan."  She was going to escape if they tried to take her.  Her plan was thrown off because they took her at school, and they were on the highway a lot, but she decided to use it this day.  I told her if she only used her brain for good... And I told her that it sounds like something I would also plan.

The next day, we were on our way to therapy.  She was talking non-stop birth family.  I had had an e-mail earlier in the day that birth mom wrote to her former worker and asked about visiting the siblings in care or even adopting them.  He said she didn't mention Dee, but she knows Dee is adopted.  (I found her on-line and sent her a note. I've never heard from her, but I also sent a note to her sister, and she did respond.)  Anyway...so on our ride to therapy, I asked Dee, "If a magic fairy allowed you a special wish to visit your birth family for one day, and then you come back to me, would you go?"  She said, "Hmmm...."  Then she asked if I could go.  I said, "No, you have to go alone."  She said she would say "no."  I asked her why, and she said she would be scared.