Catching Up..

I find that when Dee is "on a roll" then I simply don't have the energy to think through what we are going through to write it out.  That's how this week has been.  She has been contrary to no end!  She has been argumentative on every little thing and disrespectful way past my tolerance level.

I finally told her something in her language:  THINGS.  "Keep this up, and I assure you there will be no Christmas in our house this year.  I love Christmas, and celebrating my Savior's birth.  But it's just way more important to me that I have a respectful daughter."

I believe she started to think about that, and I got an e-mail from her yesterday while she was at after-school care.

Hi Mommy,



When I came to adviter club I finely realized that it was my fault about what happened this morning. I felt and I still feel like I really I didn't need to get a adautoda [attitude]with you this morning.I told myself this"dee you need to get youre self underconcorle or you will not have a very happy mom. So would you weather want a grumpy mom or a happy mom,if you want a :) mom then you need to stratin up. i hope you forgive me I promise you this ill be kind to youn .

Translation: When I came to adventure club, I finally realized that it was my fault about what happened this morning. I felt and I still feel like I really didn't need to get an attitude with you this morning. I told myself this: "Dee, you need to get yourself under control or you will not have a very happy mom. So, would you rather have a grumpy mom or a happy mom? If you want a :) mom, then you need to straighten up I hope you forgive me. I promise you this, I'll be kind to you.

It was a good jump-off point.  She has been trying to do better.  She has not asked for her phone or other electronics because she knows she has not earned the right to have them.  She seems to be begging for more rigid boundaries so she can have something to fight against.

Yesterday morning she found out I was off from work, so she became jealous.  At 11:00, I got a call from her saying she was sick.  By 1:30 or 2:00, I had a kid having a tantrum because she was bored stuck in her bed.  I also told her it was like trust.  Now, if she is not feeling well...she cannot call me from school.  I will only come and get her for a fever on the thermometer or if she throws up her food from the past three days and there is a witness.  (She knows how to make herself throw up a little.)  Since I was home, I think her charade was actually worth it.

On the way to therapy after the pretend illness, we talked about several things.  Why she has been so mean.  She ventured some guesses, but I told her I didn't think that any of those were it.  She has standard therapy answers, like kids have standard church answers.  "What did you learn in Sunday School?"  "About God."  "Why were you acting like that?"  "I think I wanted to be in control."    I do think our talk gave her the chance to work  through some things and organize her thoughts.  It also gave me the chance to make sure she understood the rules.

In therapy, they are re-working on her book.  They have separated her life in parts.  So it's been decided that they are on Part 3.  It helps her to see progress.

Long week, but it's looking up!