Our morning only got worse after the letter incident. It ended with her screaming, "You don't even care!" And me responding, "Watch how much I don't care."
This afternoon, I told her that letter didn't make sense. I asked if she had copied S. She said, "No, S wrote it." Then I gave a speech about why it didn't make sense. Whey she would not realize it didn't match the story of her life. How she should have known that wasn't her story. And why she could have stood up and said, "That won't work for me, I know my birth mom." Or, "My mom has told me everything she knows about my birthmom." Her eyes glazed over. I do hate when I can see the disconnect in her brain. This was one of those many times.
I failed to mention yesterday that her list of things she would do from now on was labeled: "Things to do to get Fun Stuff." She is a rewards kind of girl. Never doing anything for nothing. So, this afternoon, she apologized, and then said, "So, does that make you want to take back anything you said this morning?"
This morning, I threatened not to do dance in the fall, tutoring in the fall, or change the living room around to accommodate the new computer. She was talking about the computer. I said, "Yes, I should have made it clear that I care about you, and that I love you." And I walked away. She said, "Anything else...like maybe about a computer..."
I feel bad for her and me. When does RAD leave? When you think it's lessening, you find it hasn't moved at all. She surprises me when she shows she is just as unattached as she was on day one.
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Anonymous,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for strongly worded response. I hear in it some concern about the way I parent my RAD child, and I appreciate that. I do think you have some valid points. Dee does not always get it. Sometimes she does, many times dhe doesn't. I do get that. It's good when someone offers a perspective that you can't see when you are in the thick of things. So I appreciate what you are trying to say.
On the other hand, I do not like the tone that you said it. My blog is pretty private. You can't just run across it. You actually have to make a concerted effort to get here. So keep in mind, I don't go for numbers. You are not forced to read it. If I'm the only one who reads it, I'm fine with that. So if it continues to upset you so much, please stop reading it.
I will leave your comment up for a while, but I do not allow profanity on my blog, so I will have to take it down eventually.