Turnaround!

We have totally turned around the atmosphere in our house, and it is good!  It's a combo of several things.

1.  Dee was saying she felt detached from me, and I got that.  Though we spend most of our time together, I wanted us to do things she would count as attachment.  So, now we play games every night.  We both enjoy that time.  It'll be harder during the school year, but we will probably just make it a weekly thing instead of a daily thing.

2.  I learned even when she totally sabotages night-time devotions and reading, she really wants it.  It's some sort of test I didn't know I was taking.

3.  She started an antidepressant.  She said she notices that she is more like herself.  She said she no longer wants to just cry.  She said she would feel said, but not get it out, and then she would become angry at me.  But, none of that right now.  Thank God!

4.  I'm listening to the book, "Get Out of My Life, But First Can You Take Me and Cheryl to the Mall?"  It helps me to normalize and not take personally some of her hormonal adolescent behaviors.  It also said that single greatest factor for whether a kid is successful as an adult is whether or not they have a goal in their teen years.  Kids with no  goal tend to end up doing things that mess up their lives.  So I am starting to build Dee up so she can formulate goals in the future.

5.  We have a family motto.  "I'm a Princess.  My father is the Kings of Kings.  Treat me like royalty."  And though Dee can say it, she doesn't live it.  After hearing her say, "That was not smart, and I'm Dee and I know that."  I decided we needed to really start living our family motto.  I was pleased when she told me when some kid at day camp said, "That's so Dee."  She said, "My mom does not want me or anyone else to say that.  It hurts my feelings.  I want you to stop."  Her friend said, "OK."  (I'm not sure if it really had happened, or if she was running it past me to see if it's what she should do.)  I did tell her they may forget, but every time, she needed to remind them until they get out of the habit.


6.  I told her I stopped showing affection because I knew it made her uncomfortable.  She was suppose to tell me she was ready when she was.  She didn't.  She mentioned it in therapy.  So every night, I take a good-night kiss.  She is still very uncomfortable, but at least I know she wants it.


I left a  happy girl at day camp this morning.  I pray she makes some good decisions and I pick up the same girl this afternoon.